Where is the horse and the rider?
Where is the horn that was blowing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow.
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
How did it come to this?
The Two Towers J.R.R. Tolkien
I think everyone has a breaking point. Everyone. Some people can deal with many things going berserk before they get to the point of losing their shit. Most can’t. Unfortunately, the world has turned into a ridiculous mess in my opinion, and I have come to the conclusion that it is edging toward hopelessness with a dash of shear crazy. Apparently, my life is reflecting this on a whole new level lately. The owls who stalk me in my yard have hinted at it for ages. “When will you transform yourself and get out of this place,” they ask.
When did it come to this? I know exactly when. It started the day my brother died and
continued ever after. I’ve been locked in a pool of dread and heartache that has been compounded by the absolute bedlam that has been going on in the US lately. I am up to my eyeballs in a kind of hopeless muck, and I don’t foresee getting out of it any time soon. I have resigned myself to reveling in my current state and throwing hope to the wind. Yep, just giving up hope entirely.
If you don’t know we humans are screwed, you haven’t been paying attention. To save time, I won’t go into all the ways we are screwing ourselves on a daily basis. If you want, you can go google it after you read this. Sadly, we are in a sharp decline, almost like a free fall at this point. There is really not much more to say about it. Civilization at some point becomes fragile and transient. My best rally to this is to stop being hopeful about a better future, or a future at all for that matter. As a teacher I have found that we push this hope crap on children all day long. It is nauseating. We used to make students say this little hopeful, lovely every morning:
“I am a kid at hope. I am talented, smart, and capable of success…blah, blah, blah.”
Throw that crap out! Why? Because it continually looks to the future without being mindful of the present. It is a stupid idea that traps the mind into constantly planning for some future that is always that, “the future!” Instead, be mindful of the “now.” Do and think in the present. Go for a nature hike, cook a great meal, or learn to meditate. If you have a cause that you think is important, give your energy to it! Don’t just “hope” for a better future.
This is not to say that I don’t believe in dreams. I love dreams. Dreams are little alternate universes that give us insight into ourselves and our gifts. I think we definitely dream too small and need to rectify that. I use a planner called the Passion Planner. In it, there is a weekly schedule that has an area called “space of infinite possibility.” This is how our dreams should be, an infinite possibility! Please don’t give up your dreams. Write them down, draw them, hell get a Passion Planner and have a space of infinite possibility to record them!
Finally, I like to look to the wild for the best way to live. The owls in my yard do not hope nor are they hopeless, for both of those ideas pertain to the future. Owls are unconcerned about the future but intentional about the present. As we should be if we are to truly live in this crazy world.